My Cozy Casita

My wife and I are like any family in the United States. Affected by the pandemic we turned to online shopping to avoid crowded spaces, thinking of our health needs and that of loved ones. Not an easy task when you live in NYC and have to deal with public transportation - but by mixing our transportation methods with express buses and our own car we have managed pretty well.

During the height of the pandemic we thought more of safety and convenience before anything else - enter our use of Amazon and Walmart into the mix. Enter our reliance on electronic methods of payment. It was so easy to avoid the crowds while just getting everything at home and staying within our pod.

I think I want to start my reflection on the Economic Boycott with that introduction as a method to give grace to these chapters of our lives. These methods of shopping and this way of living had their roles, they formed part of our fun or personality - even our culture. But in our most vulnerable moments they also became methods to remain safe.

February 28, 2025 is my Boycott Day 1. It is a way of making Boycott as a method to express my values and it was very much possible because it was done as a collective and in community. I have done other forms of activism in the past, direct action, marching, protest, letter writing, demonstrations but I was never big on boycotts because my way of learning about it always seemed mistimed. I would never find out fast enough or plan ahead. But things changed this time around.

You see, this is a year I have had to dedicate my time to the sacred ordination of Osha. I had to become Iyawo. The timing is really precious since usually in times of great need I tend to hit the streets to march and touch base with organizers to see where I can help. But this go-around is different. My destiny was already to receive my religious ordination and initiation during December, 2024 - and in this time of deep dedication, meditation and religious practice - going to the streets to march is not an option. I found my destiny and decision so worth it as this type of care and dedication in my life will serve the community in the long run after the Iyawo year is over. That doesn’t mean I have not taken part in other accessible political moves like letter writing, donating and having deep conversations in the community to establish networks of mutual aid. I think this time of solidifying with my community has been as essential as any of the street demonstrations I have done in the past. It has given me a chance to give my family, my religious community and my LGBTQ community a deeper bond where they can receive love, commitment and dedication to me. Also open communication so that words and conversations can flow, misunderstandings and disagreements can be smoothed out and plans can be more sustainable.

And then comes this Boycott - not only was it a real accessible way of doing activism, organizing and community - I also became excited for the ways my loved ones and community members were activating to do it. Like all other boycotts I found out rather late, on the week where it was going to start. There was also a very powerful factor going into this. My wife - B.

B has never been super into activism. She has always been the background player. When we met she was not very educated on the impact of real political action. She was even disenchanted with the process and role of voting. Via our conversations B learned about different forms of activism and what role they played in doing the right thing. I spoke to her why they were important to me and why they made a difference. We even have the poster I carried at the 2017 Women’s March hanging in our spare bedroom. Little by little B found ways to help my activism as a background player by supporting me to do my thing.

But she was the one who educated me on this Boycott. She was fired up and ready to roll. She came home to express what moved her to do it. She wanted to do something. She was angry at Elon Musk, the Oligarchy, the way we were all being screwed over economically and how it affected her and her loved ones so profoundly. How could I not watch her say all of these things and not be moved by what this moment was for her? I got ready to be the one following her lead this time, go all in on the boycott and help her maintain. I am so grateful to B for being my teacher in this moment and plugging me into how I could be involved when I needed it the most.

The Boycott was not hard in terms of decision making and how it affected my Friday because I work from home and most of my usual purchases happen Monday through Wednesdays when I go to the office. However, even at home I do tend to purchase entertainment from Amazon Prime, place online orders of anything I may need. I do bank deposits or transactions to pay bills or make purchases - or make other banking decisions like how I should invest or save. I also have things in my Amazon shopping list which I time according to payday. Friday was Payday.

I didn’t let companies know on Day 1 that I was boycotting or my elected officials. I didn’t think to join the two but I don’t see that as a miss if it was just Day 1 and this can be Day 2. I specially have words for the executives of Paramount + - two Gay men who owe their rights to the fierce fight that Trans Women of Color did, only to roll back DEI policies.

Community really made the Boycott possible - the flow of communication from my loved ones. Knowing that I was in a position to support them and be plugged in when I needed it. I did go online to connect to others who were doing it and those who were as excited as my real time community members were encouraged by me as well in the comment sections. I created a little photo feed of my activities that day and had some positive feedback. I think being in a collective was the key and leaning on others to guide me and inform me. In the positive and the negative parts of this organization. And in the negative, I do mean the conversations that took place as far as who should be leading these efforts.

Shifting gears is always challenging no matter what - but I was glad for the challenge. Coming more to terms that there may be some extreme measures of anti-capitalist, non-consumerist actions I may need to take to make a real difference. These don’t seem undoable as much as I have not had the time to think them through in execution so they still look a bit disjointed but the ideas will soon come to fruition.

 The need to share my journal writing revisits me.  This need to create a good archive of thought and narrative.  Sharing to dig out who I am at this moment.  Sharing to dig out who we can all be?  I remember digging to find the voice of the ancestors when the pandemic started in 2020 - wishing for their wisdom and comfort.  I do the same now.  I am the future ancestor in my life.  

 

It is important that I am not invisible during this point in time.  Raising our voices, we break the invisibility and we become our myriad of colors and shades, our diverse selves.  This is a tense point in history, the rise of this new wave of fascism.  It had started with the first term of D.T. but this second term created more intense crisis after crisis - a plan by the entire right wing being placed in motion.  This is how human cruelty creates a cradle.

 

And yet this is also when I learn from the ancestors again - this time Etty Hillesum.  She is being quite a muse.  She teaches me to resist going under the despair and to look at the current events from the other side of my own protection.  To raise and share my voice.  To let it be known that I am living in the new world now, even amongst the birth of these horrors.

 

Of course Etty Hillesum is not the only ancestor I am inspired by - for all our African Mothers who resisted and survived captivity and colonization have paved the road we all can walk on.  If they were able to survive all manner of things, their daughters can survive many things.  We can create community, care for children and each other.  We can mother ourselves into a new life.  

It is important that I see, I am living these moments with Bettsy by my side, as her wife.  It is important to say, I am living my Iyaworaje during this year regardless of what is being destroyed - I am reborn.  Life is movement no matter where the current goes.  

 

The world is--people are changing.  People are constructing methods of resistance that have no faith in anything but the community.  That in itself is wonderful even if the reason we are doing it is a horrible collapse.  This means we all understand the power of the collective.  I am glad that I get to see and work through these beginnings of collective moments, at the beginning of my spiritual vocation.  

 

Dressed in all white I will celebrate Valentine’s Day with my wife in our house, away from all noise - in this space we have created so I can listen to Olofi and the Orishas.  It is humbling to be asked to celebrate Orisha above all things, above all crisis and above all fear.  I celebrate them, for they are life - they guide us to be in good relationship with Olorun and the Ancestors.  

 

And they push us to find our real power. 

 

I have published Part 2 in Medium:

https://medium.com/@shanaliinchaustegui/spiritual-journey-espiritismo-d91ca3ff7776

 Before the priesthood - there is the journey. 

For me it was an amazing road from age 19 to 46.  There were many mentors from many paths - Wiccan, Curanderismo, Palo Mayombe, Espiritismo, Lucumi.  I would have to say that a constant of my walk was Espiritismo and Animism.  

Espiritismo is in my blood.  It is in my Boricua culture.  In Puerto Rico, Spiritism filled in spaces that were left open by the oppression of colonialism against the practice of tribal rituals by the Native Taino people and African people who were brought in captivity for forced labor.  Both peoples are part of my ancestors.  Both people had their own songs, dances and traditions for their ancestors.  Therefore an amalgamation happened between this format that Europeans were bringing from the circles that were formed in France by the founder of Spiritism, Allan Kardec, and the need to insert tribal ritual, belief and song from Taino and Native culture.  Thus was born Puerto Rican Espiritismo.   

I learned Espiritismo via the Puerto Rican Iyalochas and Babalochas who were already practicism Lucumi, so there were forms of formal mesa blanca and espiritismo which I did not get to experience growing up.  And I definitely did not practice it in Puerto Rico.  Mami would not have heard of it since she wanted to bring me up Christian.  But once I began to build my own spiritual journey, what is called Espiritismo Criollo arrived in my life.  And with that the information to  begin praying at my boveda.  

Espiritismo criollo is a less structured form of Espiritismo and it is more heavily influenced by African and Taino culture.  As opposed to the formal “seance” white table of Mesa Blanca and Kardecian Spritism, Espiritismo can be practiced by sitting in a loose circle and having the spiritual current bring messages from the ancestors to anyone developing the faculty of communicating with the ancestors.  People with these faculties are called mediums.  I began showing this faculty very early in my Espiritismo journey.  And these faculties were furthered developed in a more structured training by my present Padrino (godfather)

I am in a journey to more analog coziness as opposed to digital - so I am aiming to make Pokemon Trading Cards as one of my cozy hobbies. I think I haven't collected as a hobby since my days of doing Sanrio and Stamps in the 80's.

I have a very modest goal of collecting all the Pikachu and Eevee/Eeveelution cards I can get my hands on - plus I am also aiming to collect some cards from my favorite Pokemon in the Hisui/Legends Arceus Pokedex. And who am I kidding, I love so many of the very cute base Pokemon forms. And if you know me well you know I am going to lose my mind when I finally find Cyndaquil <3

Stay tune for future updates on my Pokemon card collection.

 Nothing as an Aborisha or Aleyo can prepare you for what this is.  Of course coming in with a good foundation of spiritual work and shadow work will help a lot - in fact it is essential to start the process.  But for all that I have just lived, nothing prepared me for that.  It was all devotion, love, community and dedication to loving Oshun and Orisha.  

I am Iyawo de Oshun.  My Mother.  Beautiful.  Essenial to the world.  Essential to the birth of Kariocha.  I owe her my life.  She manifested in every single essence of me from Day 1 and she continues to understand me and love me as no one has.  I want to dedicate my writing in this year to the beautiful reflections of my soul and my growth.  To reflecting and being an ambassador to Oshun but also who she is in humbleness.  How wonderful to have Her as my Mother so that I can take each little step in love and in her care, in the divinity that she is.  I'm not sure that I will ever be someone to share a lot about my spiritual work in depth.  

You see I think there has to be some very respectful and loving care to how we speak of the mysteries.  It is good to demystify who we are as practitioners but, this religion is very much about relationship building.  Respect and relationship hand in hand.  And so no matter what reflections I write here or what information I give, it will never really describe anyone's experience with Orisha.  Only Ifa can give you insight on what each Odu and each Pataki and each lesson means for you.  

There are also many things from my Ita and my tratados that will never be talked about in this space because that secrecy is what keeps the religion sacred.  

But what I do want to reflect is personal growth.  It is personal experience in the daily.  It is lessons that I have that perhaps will help someone along the way in their spiritual life.  

Maferefun Oshun every day.  Maferefun my Yeye, My Mother, Iyalorde every second and every breath of my life.

 In this season of social media I am noticing a lack of real conversation so let me add some ¢.02.

Not a big update but...I had to share here my cute Sanrio Anniversary gifts from Bettsy.  I was soooooooo happy.  These are the things she does to show me how much she gets me.  I am a forever fan of Sanrio.  Later tonight I am going to wear my new Kuromi TShirt to hang out in the afternoon with B.  Sanrio is also a self soothing pleasure for my inner child so I am forever grateful for the way my wife supports my self care and healing.  <3 

I’m not with the tough girl act anymore.

I mean my strength as a human, femme and woman is in my maternal side, my intellectual side, my political side.  It doesn’t have to be in some steel exterior impenetrable and explosive.  This comes to me in a day where I am doing more resting, more existing in my domesticity, and more focus on what my work in the world really is. 

I’ve had to use my tough exterior to survive at times, to have edges that are rough instead of real nonporous boundaries.  Instead of guarding my emotions with love, I have done so with fear, toughness, and aggressiveness for most of my life.  In a way I still have to do some of that out on those streets because well – I have to go to Manhattan 3 days a week to be professional and this city is wild.  I also must keep people at some substantial distances because if not my emotions are all out there. 

A lot of these defense mechanisms were created due to my past trauma with abuse.  These mechanisms in my personality where useful during points of immaturity when I had to survive out there…

TW (mentions/implied Child Abuse) – when you must be a four-year-old with no protection after violence, you grow up like this.  I am grateful to my parents for providing me with some very essential things and real moments of happy childhood, but some core issues were neglected a lot.  There were dysfunctions galore, and abuse did happen from relatives that were never addressed.  I had to create a cocoon of anger, steel walls of fights, use hate and aggression to not let anyone near that could be that frightfully abusive.  I was not always successful in protecting myself because this is only a superficial quick solution to protection.  And it was not the best way to grow up.  Toughness doesn’t yield a personality with no edges. I’ve had to really conceptualize and reframed my trauma history to start thriving lately.  I say this not because I’m unique or want to get attention or whatever—speaking of trauma is never the most soothing topic to find in front of you.  I say this in the case there is someone here trying to shift into a healing and thriving space after having so many rough edges for survival.  After creating a life with toughness and anger.  I have used those energies to create an existence in this world, I’m proud of the energy that tough girl created to make sure I stayed in this world.  And now she will be honored in me while I blossom into someone else. 

Not sure if anyone will read this but if it ever happens to help anyone who stumbles upon it.  I hope you feel less alone.

Much love <3